gosh i hate it when everyone i love turns biased against me.
for example my parents my tutor my teachers.
gosh i hated them for this.
i wanted to cry so badly during tuition today cause of the biase-ness( is there such a word?) my parents show to me.
so what if sis scored well in all her major exams? you 2 always compare me with her.
she has a scholarship offer, so? she wants to go back taiwan to study medicine
SHE DON'T EVEN FUCKING HELL LIKE IT and she wants to snatch it away from me.
i am the one who wanted to go to medical sch, i am the one who told you 2 i wanted to go back to study medicine. and YOU TELL HER TO CHOSE MEDICAL in the box. what the fuck? she likes art for bloody hell. if she ever become a doctor or what so ever, you 2 would come boasting to me say " see your sis is having a great career ahead of her." and i will always be the one left behind.
YOU BOTH ALREADY LOVE BABY SIS SO MUCH. i don't even feel like i am part of the family.
i DREAD family dinners now a days. cause the conversation either goes like what sch sis is going ot accept, or if i had studied hard or not or if i am able to go to JC
wtf i don't need all this fucking hell from you.
you don't even let me watch TV for goodness sake. i wanted to watch some drama on youtube and you told me not to because my mind will wander. SO? i cant even fucking relax? AND YET SHE CAN HOG THE COMPUTER FOR MORE THAN 3 HOURS AND YOU DON'T BLOODY HELL CARE?
wtf. i hate sis for this
gosh all you and mum cares is results.
yeah true result can get you to places. but so what? i know you pay for all my lessons etc. but all you wanted is that i don't shame you and better bring glory to you. gosh


and mum, you weren't helping either. you always like to scold me or drag me into a scolding session when you are scolding others. sometimes you ask me to do housework, i tell you later then do i studying. you say" also don't see you last time so hardworking" wow
thats fucking hurtful. so what if i am not hardworking last time? i am now at least. even my own mother is looking down on me. thanks a lot where is the love? you always claim that you love me the most but i always break your heart HAHAHA. you have baby sis with you and you forgot all abt me. just like on sunday we went bugis for dinner. dad talks with sis and you with baby sis. i was sitting beside you and you DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE
i am your fucking daughter for goodnes sake. thanks a lot uh


so what if we are one family?
even my tutor sides with sis. wtf i hate life.
i hate it so much that sometimes i imagine myself commiting suicide.
i told xz i always wonder what will happen to me if i get hit by a car. what will my family do? would they even notice.
lol on a lighter note, i got bumped by a fucking damn car while going to sch yesterday and i told my friends. what ade said was " then why are you still here?" its fucking hell hurtful.
i need attention that i am not getting from my family from friends.



oh yeah and you don't even want to give me a handphone bcause you are scared i will do all sorts of things unlike big old sis who is so mature.
i asked you one day if you could buy me one, and you said you think your results good like your sis to get you a hp? fuck you. you ask me to pay my bills myself if i go get one. i am 17 hello. you payed for sis and why not me? i wanted to shout and slap in your face so much

while studying today you noticed i was very pissed. and you asked why. i told you i am not going to tell you and you jump to conclusions that i am having problems with my friends. NO HELLO. ITS FAMILY PROBLEMS THAT YOU AND MUM CAUSED.



i would blame you all if i have a bad childhood.
thanks so much for your love and care all these 17 years.
as the saying goes, middle child gets nothing.